Ron Mexico's Dog Fighting Extravaganza

I’m going to weigh in on the Michael Vick situation, although the last thing that I wish to do is add more commentary to the already over-discussed and over-analyzed case, but I am going to do it more so with vigilance toward every public figure engaged in illegal activity.

Dear Rich People,

What the fuck are you doing? You have they ability to spend the rest of your life doing every possible fun, be it legal, activity in the world. You can afford to have every second of your life after thirty-five filled with non-stop excitement and never work another day again. Why is life so boring, so sad, and so empty that you need to break the law?

Five things that will have your ass hemmed up publicly:

1. Killing dogs
2. Killing people
3. Neglecting your children (permanent nannies are apparently fine)
4. Abusing drugs we are not privy to
5. Being treated differently by the legal system

Rich folk, you know what America wants? Of course you don’t, because your handlers wouldn’t have it. With enough ‘Yes Men’ around you, you’ll never have to feel a real feeling again. Claim innocence in person? Hell no, not without your lawyer’s consent and prepared statement.

America wants apologies. Sincere and heartfelt apologies. Something as blatantly illegal and immoral as racketeering an underground dog fighting business for gambling that includes killing animals and burying them is a pretty fucked up circus to be involved in. But for a star NFL quarterback worth millions of dollars to establish such a business is heinous on so many other levels as well.

If you didn’t do it, stand before us and tell us that. Apologize for even being remotely involved. Tell us you will make sure the guys responsible pay for what they have done. Apologize to the families of the dogs. Something besides silence.

If you did it, go rot with the rest of the degenerates.

You are a world famous athlete blessed with amazing ability and opportunities. You are insanely wealthy and could have any woman you wanted. Pretty humdrum, huh?

Also, for you idiots that want to drink, get high and then drive, take a little of your pocket cash and hire a limo. You bought a grand in coke and hundreds in drinks, yet you couldn’t consider forking out a couple bills to get home safely. Jesus, toss a fiver at a Disney Channel kid and have them drag you home in their mom’s van.

Best regards,

Sun-Dried Eyes

Innocent people are being hit by coked-out celebrities in SUVs and shot by athlete’s ghetto-ass entourages. We have athletes killing, raping and beating their wives. We have rick folk from sixteen to twenty-eight so numb and disillusioned that they hurt everyone around them and know not what they do.

What makes me saddest is that America is so forgiving. We will eventually forget about the crimes, the dead, and the drugs. Next time we see them they will be in the midst of their triumphant comeback, with millions in advertising flaunting their shining exterior, this wonderfully reborn human.

So this next letter is for America.

Dear General Consumer,

Perhaps you have been lulled into a post-buffet like coma, watching the pretty flat screen and tucking all of the bullshit it feeds you in your cheek to wash down later with cherry cola. But wake up and pay attention.

They are insulting you.

I’m no celebrity, but let’s just say that I am. What if, just today, I spend my session in congress vilifying gays and prostitutes, then hit the strip and pick up a 6'5'’ he/she, run over to my homey’s house, help him kill a couple naughty puppies, drink three 40oz beers, do a bump or three of candy, hops in my ride and hit a few clubs, a few pedestrians, and then end up at the strip club where I make it rain for an hour, leave, send my homey back to the club to shoot some people over drama, yell some anti-Semitic slurs at the cops, go home and sleep with a fifteen year old girl and the he/she, and finally pass out in front of my still-awake three year old and infant?

Perhaps I should go to rehab, you know, for my gay/racist behavior, spend eighty-two minutes in jail, hide out under the radar for three years and eventually return to the silver screen a triumphant actor and voice-over king of forgettable CGI characters.

Would you remember my sins when it came time to watch a movie? Would you help make me successful again? Would you spit in the faces of those I have hurt and buy my new album?

Stop forgiving them just because it didn’t involve you directly. You are feeding into a machine that produces and nurtures this kind of behavior. Force bad congressmen to resign. Stop seeing movies with lunatics and ex-cons. Don’t by the albums, or even download the songs, of pedophiles and murderers.

Most importantly, stop being had by the spin doctors and hype machines that tell you it is okay to love these people again. These talking heads are only doing it for the money. Your money, in fact, as you spend hard-earned cash to keep the rich richer and the high higher. They don’t care about you. They laugh at your stupidity. Have you ever heard the expression “The audience is stupid”? They mean you, not the guy next to you. You.

I’m sorry to be so harsh, consumer, but it is forgetful audiences like you that perpetuate the lifestyle and let news outlets drown out real woes for celebrity retardedness. We are in a war. People are starving. So to you, just as I said to the rich folk, what the fuck are you doing?

Love,

Sun-Dried Eyes


In summary, there are hundreds of great actors, singers and performers in the world. Support them by not supporting the grime that infests their only chances to shine. Install a ‘one strike and out’ consumption policy and consider it a public service. It is time we take back the media. Read between the lines.

Faith-Based Emptiness

I must get something off of my chest. It is about religion, but I don’t want you to turn away and ignore my perspective so that you can remain safe and unquestioned in your heart. We all must question religion in order to fully embrace it. If you don’t ask what is in your food or how the car is before you buy it, then you have no one to blame but yourself when things are not the way that you expected them to be.

It is not religion with whom I have a bone to pick, but faith. Notice earlier how I did not say “we must question our faith”, because faith is not an order of beliefs or traditions. Faith is not tangible, printed and bound, hiding in a hotel room nightstand.

Faith is the fuel by which everything runs: your faith in your favorite sports team keeps them playing; your faith in your spouse relieves you of worry; your faith in fellow man keeps the world around you as peaceful as possible.

I recently watched a video on YouTube about a Christian rapper and his song containing provocative lyrics possibly outing himself as a homosexual. As usual, I fired off a muddled stream of anti-religious hatred having never even heard of the artist, let alone hearing the song or caring about the issue. I figured I’d just attack the moral majority for a goof.

The gist of my comment was that the guy should have felt okay to be gay in the first place, not hide behind the facade of a gangster-rapping Christian, and live without the judgements of his holier-than-thou peers. Every comment before mine was either homophobic or some vague offering to “pray for his soul”. I merely suggested that their prayers were worthless and mused about how they don't use religion to share love, they use it to hate people different from them; the ultimate hypocrisy. I also suggested that the rapper, “drop the whole act... (and) not cater to those so blind and afraid they turn to someone who they can't see (that) threatens to hurt them.” Yeah, I’m a dick.

My only intention was to let off some steam, but instead ignited a small debate about another user’s “relationship with Jesus Christ” and “Jesus as Light”, whatever that means. With others involved, this discussion soon extended out to homosexuality. I even had a guy who claimed to be a gay Christian offer to support me through my angry, gay Christian transition. Some people’s kids, I swear...

Religious fanatics love to argue about everything except what is wrong with their beliefs. They could spend hours telling you what some preacher ranted about on Sunday regarding abortion, gays or the GOP and argue those “facts” with conviction, but as soon as they are confronted with the detailed stupidity of what they claim as the “Word of God”, they instantly go deaf, dumb and blind and start spouting brainwashed verse, asking God to forgive the ones who haven’t been had yet.

And this is my point about faith. Where there is science, there is no need for faith. The answers are there in the laboratory. Science tells you what is in your food. Science tells you what is wrong with your car. And science is slowly proving that homosexuality is not a personal decree but of a genetic disorder.

It would be easy to slam religion and God all day, maybe come off like the cool kid in school or a Daily Show correspondent, but that is not my desire. If I had one wish, it would be to turn off all of the Gods and get the people in this world back to believing in each other.

For centuries, man has relied on religious training wheels to hold us upright and unified until we were civilized enough to shed the ”organized” skin and move forward as a human race that loves one another and works toward the greater good, without the assistance of our imaginary friends. But like all good theories, it is prone to human corruption.

Ever notice that the richest, most powerful, most evil people in the world are religious? The senators, clergy and businessmen who vote to help but won’t hesitate to kill, who scorn prostitutes but pay them well, who speak tolerance but slur anyone. They don’t believe in it. But you think they do, and that keeps you in your place. Religion keeps you in your place, not questioning, not looking deep enough, not wanting tangible truth. They play on your faith’s blindness to conceal their evilness and keep you filling up the donation basket.

If I gave you a burger and told you it was chicken, you’d tell me to go fuck myself. If someone hands you a book and says “this is the truth”, will your faith fly blindly or will you keep both feet planted on ground that you can feel, holding hands with the only people you need to be loved by?