Debata-balls 2012 Part Duex: Live Blogging the Final Presidential Debates

I like that they went to the most bat-shit crazy state in the union for the final debate.

Whose show is this Bob? STFU

Everything Romney says is funny not on purpose.

Romney still doesn't know what we already know happened in Libya. Stay in (public) school, kids.

Did a Republican just say we can't kill our way out of something? Blasphemy!

Obama is so dreamy.... zzzzzzz

Obama draws first blood. "Strategy"!

Economic development of a Middle East country? Blasphemy!

Obama is glad about a lot of Romney/Al Qaeda things.

Obama is on the offensive... damn.... wipe your sword off before you stab him again, you're blood all over Bob.

Romney's feelings are hurt.... sad panda got attacked...

Romney forgot his speech last week. Must not have been in a Rose Garden.

Obama: Romney would have a draft!

I think Romney just said the exact same thing as Obama. This talk is foreign to me.

Obama is attacking again! Romney's gonna be whine! Bob is scared and peed slightly!

Bob: Obama, did your foot taste good?

I want to hear Romney retort on female education!

During Egyptian leadership conferences, at the Friday dance, do they ever play the Bangles?

Cutler goes three-and-out. Wait, wrong screen.

Notice how Mitt never wants people to be happy without also being prosperous?

Why does Mitt think that the right principles for the world are all the ones in our Constitution?

Romney: I will have a bigger military that won't lose one penny because it must govern react proactively.

Romney - man of the future!

5 Simple Romney steps to an awesome future America: more fossil for fuel, exploit Latin Americans, build schools that kill their teachers in front of dumb parents and dumb kids, invest in America (?), and champion small business.

Obama to Romney: Talk to the hand cause the teacher unions ain't listenin'!

Thanks, Bob, for bringing it back to bombing brown people.

Obamacare, the largest threat to foreign policy ever always.

Yeah, Mitt, that's unwanted military spending you're shoving in my camo g-string.

How's Utah doing now, Mr. Olympian?

Obama just launched an aerial assault on a drone(ing) Romney.

Obama <3 Israel; Romney snickering from under the bleachers...

Mitt: Send uranium to Uranus!

You can't call him "Chavez" until you've kissed the ring!

Obama to Burger King: You owe my $10k for saying "whopper".

I like how Romney gets all set to say something profound, and then drops the same Rove-created talking point verbatim.

Romney hates hypotheticals! Are they brown/black too?

Romney said "withdraw". He has five kids! Yeah? Nothing? ...whatever.

Bob just owned Mitt. Mitt took it well. 5 points.

When did we marry Pakistan? Was it an arranged marriage?

When boring people say "extreme", it's even worse than when old people say "awesome".

"Devastating".

Romney will have a STRONG America. But no steroids.

That's what they get for buying foreign, Mitt!

Barry finally pulled out the job shipping shit! It's getting heavy in the later rounds!

Sure, I get up to pee and they start fighting. Damn!

Mitt's losing it. He's becoming unraveled like the Joker.

We all love teachers!

Uh oh, Romney has final closing. Get the fact books out. Got a feeling this is going to be a record-setting bullshitfest.

Did Romney actually say anything in his closing statement? It sounded like a Funny-Or-Die lip dub.

I'm done de'bating. Gonna grab a towel and nap. Thanks for listening.

Debata-balls 2012: Live Blogging the Presidential Debates

I think Jeremy thinks he has to build cars for the rest of his life.

Romney, you got a detail anywhere in that plan?

Romney came prepared with defense, not offense. Must be a Ravens fan.

"Magic Gas" ... how did he know I'm making curry for dinner?

Romney came to fight. Literally. He just squared up the POTUS.

I thought Mormons are supposed to be polite, not just rich.

Why does it take an old Midwestern woman to pin Romney down on his budget details?

Is it me or has Romney denied everything the POTUS has said except for him only having one plan, to make more money for the richest?

Teleprompter or not, Obama really.... has a lot... of... weird pauses.... wait, what?

Count down to Republican bitching about the Big Bird reference in 5... 4...

Romney is someone who ran businesses.

The "Road to Greece" is paved with _____________.

I didn't think Obama would be the first to pull out the personal story. Nothing screams "smoke screen" like the debate parable.

Never say "afford college" again. Taking on crippling lifetime debt is never affording something.

Romney helps women one job at a time. So did Clinton. He created a surplus. Then spilled it on women in flexible positions.

POTUS just owned Romney on the Women=Money equation.

A disappointed woman that can't tell a Mitt from her Bush.

Romney came through small business the way Galactus came through the galaxy.

"Governor, you'll get tough on China like a bull in a Japanese shop."

Obama to Jones: "In four years, I did a bunch of shit. What have you done for me lately?"

Four Obama years: another thing Romney thinks we can't afford. First Big Bird, now my Afrikkan creamy crush?!?!?!

Romney's dad is Mexican?!?!? Not that that's a surprise, but HE VOICED IT?!?!?

Obama: Romney hates (poor) Mexicans.

Romney: Do not (specifically)!

Obama is following the Romney plan of bulling people over!!! And Romney has a new plan of asking off-topic questions repeatedly like a drunken frat boy!!!

Kerry Ladka: Obama... Libya... what you do?!?!?

Romney just placed 13 Rove-approved talking points in one 2 minute response. He is awarded 10 meaningless points.

Hunter Romney poked the Papa Obama bear. Papa growled.

Will Obama finally talk guns?!?!?! *gasp*

A broader conversation? Way to pussy out, POTUS. Guns for everyone!

Mitt Saves The Guns! Guns for all mentally ill!

How did guns turn to single parent homes? Mitt just yanked the wheel and threw everyone out of the golf cart.

Oh, I see what he did. Fast and Furious. The Big Bird of the GOP.

Every time Mitt flops his dick out unnecessarily, Candy happily tucks it back into his pants for him. Thanks, Candy.

Romney knows jobs goes to China? Who told him?!?!?

Mitt's going to make America more attractive to create jobs in. To his friends, anyway. You know, they guys who shipped the jobs overseas to put more money in their pockets.

Top of the 9th and Mitt has a man on second and one out.

Question from Barry: Mitt, why are you a god-fearing robot that cares about people you can make money off of?

When Obama goes off on dreamy tangents, he sounds like, well, Mitt Romney.

Yup, Obama just hit a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth. Goodnight, Irene.