I smattered again...
Racial misgivings may prevent some Democrats from voting for Uber-Negro candidate Barack Obama, according to a dumb fucking poll. More than a third of white Democrats and independents agreed with at least one negative adjective about blacks, including the sexy descriptors “lazy”, “violent” and “irresponsible”. In a related story, a golden retriever took over to nurture three tiger cubs that were abandoned by their mother at Safari Zoological Park in Caney, Kansas, last July. An update on the Today Show proved all was well with the cat/dog family. Uppity whites are denouncing the interspecies family, complaining that canines are “lazy”, “violent” and “irresponsible”, and are currently lobbying the government to come down harder on deadbeat tiger moms.
Speaking of tigers, do kids still read Tiger Beat? Can kids still read?
News dropped that the world's largest atom smasher has been damaged worse than previously thought and will be out of commission for at least two months. Considering the sorry state of small screen comedy these days, I can already see this moment in the made-for-TV movie: As the scientists open the large, steel hatch, enter a lanky, red-headed guy sporting inch-thick glasses and a half lisp/ half retarded speech impediment, holding a wrench and a magnet.
Nathaniel “Nate Dogg” Hale suffered his second stroke in less than a year. Apparently at one point he was on life support with a feeding tube. Not that you knew about the first stroke, but it became doubly noteworthy due to this quote. "He has suffered another stroke from his bad eating habits and unhealthy lifestyle," said Nate's rapping cousin, Donald "Lil' Half Dead" Smith. This would be why he wasn’t pictured embracing his wife on the cover of Vegan Monthly, above the quote “Regulate... Your Life”. No word on whether the cousins will be trading nicknames.
In a different, dumb fucking poll Americans would rather watch football with Obama than McCain, probably because McCain would nap through most of the game. I just want a president to run our government correctly for the first time in almost a decade. I don’t give a shit whether he mashes Doritos down his hole and pounds farts into his lazy boy between 1pm Saturday and 11pm Sunday night. I’ll gladly replenish the cans in his beer helmet if he can just get this country on track. As a side note, uppity whites plan to lobby the government to start coming down harder on stupid polls.
I am so afraid of what this country will become if McCain and his arm candy is elected. The latest financial scare - bail out all the the big companies that over extended or else....... Notice that there is no talk of bailing out the little guy who has worked 90 hours a week to get his honest business going - no talk of bailing out the little people that have already lost property, pensions and jobs. But be sure to help the big money so the execs will get their golden parachute when they bail out - leaving the middle class and poor people to suffer and pay for their mistakes. OK, maybe the government will "broker" a deal to help if the execs limit their payouts - to what? 25 mil instead of 50 million for making the decisions that nearly killed their companies?
ReplyDeleteIn the news tonight, McCAin said that he thought that Obama and he should forget the debates and focus on the financial crisis. Does that mean he's afraid Palin can't talk by herself? Obama said that since a president needs to know how to focus on many things, the debates should go on as well and following the other chaos in the country.
My advice is, no matter who you favor in the coming election, don't bother listening to the ads. Listen to what the campaigners say about HOW they plan to make changes. Is it realistic? Can it really happen? And most of all - will the burden of payment be on your back?