Once Upon A Bathroom Wall

While urinating at my favorite pub, I couldn’t help but notice that the only graffiti in the room had been responded to. Its placement is above the back of the toilet, marketing the defamation only to number ones, not number twos. Towering over the bowl, supporting my inebriated carcass against the wall, I noticed the faint penciled retort. “YOUR [sic] A HOMO!”

Let me back up a ways. In the fifteen months I’ve patronized Murphy’s, the bathroom has morphed from beautiful, “Under The Sea”-themed blue hues, to all black (above the tile half-wall), to white with a black sponged effect that, were it crimson, would lead to believe a murder had taken place and the killer was Bob Ross. These changes were due to the excess of drunken scribblings that were taking place.

Since the changes, there has only been one statement made upon the hallowed walls: SINKY IS A HOMO.

Let me be clear before I continue. I don’t know who Sinky is. We have never met and I would never attempt to slander a person who is already being smeared at one of the most public forums in town. All I know is that Sinky is obviously a homosexual and I hope he is receiving the support he needs from friends and family that he is not receiving in Murphy’s bathroom.

Here is what I saw that night:







You can see the desperation with which Sinky scrawls his defense. Strong lines, all caps. Misspelled with passion. This is a person who has been beaten by fear, dragged down by depression, drained of any individuality left to define him as a U.S. citizen. He has been reduced to the most elementary of barricades, crawling deeper into the closet and denying his gayness, hurling the classical heterosexual response to deflect any more insight into his mind and bedroom.

Many of my friends are a part of the LGBT community, all of them with pride, all of them loved and supported. I hope Sinky has the resources available to him that many homosexuals, closeted or otherwise, may not necessarily know is available.

If you are a “Sinky”, or actually are Sinky, know that there are many organization and groups that can help you come to terms with your homosexuality. They can help you find happiness and protect you from the libel that screams hate at you and everyone that pisses before it. Please know there are options.

Sinky may be a homo, but he is a person first and foremost, and perhaps, if you look deep enough, you’ll find that he is correct. “YOUR A HOMO” as well.